Memorous

We don’t realize the end of our vigor approaching us every second. The unknown has been the most trusted companion for eons, but we never conquered the art of coexisting agreeably with this mystery. Mostly, we nurture a belief to outrun.

My pulse loses tempo when the idea of demise surfaces in awareness. How must it feel when the present dissolves—that last word, action, or emotion gushes out of my heart into oblivion? Is there any assurance that we become acutely aware of the last breath? How does one contemplate impermanence? What could constitute success in daubing the white paper with ink blobs to convey emotions? Can we paint all sentiments? What is the other side of this coin of temporariness? Does an acknowledgment make us involuntarily grateful for our short fling on earth? Annoyance ignites all my cells.

How could I suffocate the blank spaces on a page or screen so they don’t look back oppressively to remind me that the strength of my speechlessness swallows what I could communicate? All my attempts splinter. They limp more strenuously than they walk to any destination, like wild animals released from captivity but lost in their known terrain to decide where they would be heading for a pasture! Who among us then becomes the shepherd in the landscape we must traverse? Are some drifters more gifted in figuring out the correct course? Where are the rest heading, and what should we do instead?

My scrawls, however insignificant, on this lush blue-green oasis might become a baton for loved ones—only if for a little while, when I do not walk on her soft ground. So I hope. Still, most of my narratives tumble into an indecisive, endless debate to slowly stifle sentiments. My vertigo of belief about an unfailing outcome gets drowned under the confusion of a chimera mastership! Lifelong bone-crushing struggles to prosper in wealth seem inappropriate when all efforts should have been to be exclusively memorous in kindness and love. While the body, a container of microbes, only heads towards withered awareness and is invariably a heartbeat away from agonizing heartache: what of us will prevail, if anything?