Aeipathy

{A conversation with the imaginative “I.”}

We have yet to unravel the mystery of your being in my life. In their cosmic dance, the sun, moon, wind, and seasons have shaped you into the enigma you are today. Or so they say. Is this the truth?

Do you form connections with others as you have with me? What symphonies do you orchestrate, and what choreography guides you when the bond blooms? How do others grasp you? Yet, the uniqueness of our bond, like a rare solandis, is a marvel to witness. Is it a bond only ours, a treasure that we alone possess?

Those close to me have very few details about you. It is impossible to articulate you to the world. Language has limitations. Perspectives are always individualistic, and we almost always unknowingly nurture realists. We refrain from dwelling on what is difficult to see, comprehend, or ponder. We are busy with life. Our primary urgency is to move away quickly, to rush from the present as if our future is guaranteed. It never is; it never was.

We have been together for so long, perhaps since my birth? Yet, my mind vacillates between fear and joy about our oneness. The fear that you will depart, as you always have for long stretches. Waiting during your absences seems futile. If we were to lose touch for an extended period, how certain can we be of rekindling our connection? Hope cradles the belief that you will not abandon our often fragile bond. Still, the uncertainty of the future lingers, sparking anticipation and a deep curiosity about what is to come. It is this anticipation, this curiosity, that keeps our bond alive and vibrant.

When you depart and return, our conversation shifts in rhythm and tone. Your form, complexion, and smile change, your voice takes on a new cadence, and your stride alters. Yet we settle into a familiar comfort that only you can bring. In our wordless exchanges, free from the fear of misunderstanding, we share the same vision in a different light, with a unique language. Like a warm embrace, this familiarity brings a profound sense of security and peace, a glimpse of a harmonious realm, a heaven where differences coexist peacefully without agony. It is in this comfort, this security, that we find solace in our bond.

The fast-spinning earth turns us cold and harsh to keep us grounded. The rule of law for the habitats: seasons control nourishment, time dictates fragility, and transgressions are prohibited. Everyone, everything becomes past for the living world in all moments, ever so slightly. In our shared space and moments, however little of it, the laws of physics and mathematics suspend—as if to give us a furlough. Nothing seems impossible, even if it is a brief halt; the universe appears in our palm.

Would you remain by my side, knowing my attempts to conceal and believe things, ideas, traits, and emotions that didn’t exist? Knowing how we have resorted to charades to avoid meeting the world? And if the world discovers precisely who you are, how would it transform us? Would we cherish our sojourn after all?