Note:
(*The Möbius strip or Möbius band (pronounced /ˈmeɪbiəs) is a surface with only one side. The German mathematicians August Ferdinand Möbius and Johann Benedict discovered it independently in 1858. It is easy to make. Take a paper strip and give it a half‐twist, and then join the ends of the strip together to form a single strip.)
In my head, I have these tiny bead-like rudiments that constitute what I believe in. I don’t know how they melted inside me and created an elaborate pile of blocks. I can feel they have existed for ages, and some have even been neglected!
When I need to justify my actions or intentions, I use them to create a garland that wraps around me and defines my existence. At times, some of them appear rusty, and their tarnished facade confronts me. When it happens, I quickly grab a brush shaped by my current understanding of life and self, then start painting them. I may choose a bright, shining color of vogue contemplation or a somewhat cool tone down verdict of my self-realization. I engage in a mental dance with my inner self, exchanging silent dialogue, and continue painting until I am satisfied with the result. It all depends on what I desire at that moment!
Sometimes I feel as though these ideas are piling up, similar to fat cells—unwanted and unfounded theories surrounding them. At one point in my hypercharged life, I may have thrown many thoughts at them that seemed prudent. Eventually, they start to become heavy and burdensome to carry. I then begin to use dissent and my new experiences as tools to reshape them. I continuously refine them until I am satisfied with a fresh, contemporary look.
Sometimes I grind, tint, and reshape them with impulses to make a skull full of mush. By the time I am done, very little of the original structure remains intact.
It comes down to this: I believe what I choose to believe. And the ‘want’ part of this equation evolves as I live a life. I always carry my heart to paint, reshape, and dismantle my minute me – and I am having a lot of fun doing just that.