Note:
Whatness
Meaning: (Noun) That constitutes a thing’s fundamental nature: the essence or inherent quality.
I don’t see what I am doing. I sleepwalk on autopilot while everything stares at me like an owl, even in the dark. Constantly oblivious that all my minor grinds are the embryones of what I do and everything else. What should I do instead, then? That is challenging to acknowledge because the list of things I should not be doing is overlong and laughable. I am ashamed to revisit the list purposefully! They might disappear if I don’t look at them long enough – a fantasy I value and cling to. What if there is a day of reckoning when there is nothing to refute, all arguments are over, only facts stand, and nobody can deny anything? That would be most terrifying since I have lived in camouflage. No, this false assertion needs a correction: I have not lived with the truth.
Batina, an Arabic word, describes something hidden or concealed. The Quran has a hidden meaning, or batin, in contrast to its apparent meaning, or “Zahir.” Sufis believe that every person has a batin in the world of souls. My heart feels the hidden nuances in my interactions with the world, like a whispering secret beneath the surface. But I repress the wink of experience because my demeanor doesn’t match the occasion and turns me graceless. So, I let the mind’s analytical prowess ignore the heart, the Qalb, the guide from empathy that is sterile from a critical, investigative approach. I am left with a perpetual altercation in my own anatomy!
The heart’s anatomy bears a hint of the fragility of its way of being. It possesses an additional nervous system with a complex design. Approximately 40,000 neurons, or sensory neurites, construct a web that can function along with the brain’s central nervous system. These intricate arrangements enable the heart to learn, remember, and even feel and sense independently. However, this exalted sensitivity comes at a price! The root of countless instances of shattered sanity is the price we are often unprepared to pay and are scared to face with clarity. So we escape, fleeing from our own selves lest our hearts throw in the towel.